update

I guess titling a post "update" is kind of like calling a blog "blog" but whatever. As my mom would say, "to hell with ya then, get your own blog." (Well, she wouldn't actually refer to a blog, because I'm not entirely sure she knows what a blog is; however, that is pretty much how she would respond to a similar critique.) A-NY-WAY, I've been very busy trying to get ready for VACATION, so it's been a while since I rapped atcha. I just wanted to tell everyone that for the next week I will be in Maine doing my best to keep the lobster men in shiny new traps and bigger boats. "Lobster men" meaning people who get lobster out of the ocean so I can eat it, not necessarily this guy or this guy, and not necessarily men. Mmmmmmmm crustaceans. So, Internet, I will miss you. Lastly, people, if you get bored, check out all the other great blogs and diversions off to the right, over there, over yonder.

before and after

You Are 32% Gross

You're a tad gross, but generally you're a clean, hygienic person. No one can be perfectly clean all the time, and it's better to be human than a neat freak.

How Gross Are You?

I tried this blogthing quiz twice. The first time I answered the questions based on how I used to be, pre-kid. Then I answered it based on how I am now. I went from "16% gross" to "32% gross". Hmm. In just one year.

fancy parking

Insecure about the junk in your trunk? Try fancy parking.

english dialects

This is the coolest website ever. Donchaknow.

shoppaing

Maybe I'll change format to become a shopping blog. But instead of really great things that one might actually want or need, I will only post things like this:

beach chair cell phone holder

Thank goodness it "folds flat for transporting". I mean, just think if you had to lug that thing with you into, say, the bathroom. You know, since you want to keep your phone or ipod in easy reach at all times.

gaaaaaah damn i love you mcsweeney's

Here is one more:

COOKIE MONSTER SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME REALLY MONSTER?
By Andy F. Bryan

portrait (illustration friday)

September, 2005

recent hilarity from mcsweeney's

THE 4-YEAR-OLD ENTERS ANGER MANAGEMENT.
By Ross Murray

also...

LESS POPULAR GAME SHOW CATCHPHRASES.
By Mike Sacks and Ted Travelstead

EXISTENTIAL PLEAS AND RESIGNATIONS MAD LIBS.
By Ed Murray

cows!

Finally, we have some cows around here. Not to be confused with Cows on the Concourse, which features live cows, Madison artists present Cow Parade. We took a look over the weekend, but rather than try to post my own crappy pictures, here is a link to Isthmus' coverage.

happy birthday austin

Satan.

Hippie.

Math Genius.

i just threw up a little in my mouth

This certainly isn't news anymore, but in the past month, Wisconsin's legislature succeeded in adding another question to the November statewide ballot: Should Wisconsin reinstate the, get this, DEATH PENALTY? Oh, I don't know, since 1853 our government has not been allowed to kill people. I'm not sure how we've gotten by.

Unlike the Wisconsin-constitutional-amendment-to-ban-gay-marriage question (vote no), this one is non-binding; however, we are well on our way to the totally f*cked up November ballot triple crown. So I'm taking suggestions. What else should Wisconsin place on the ballot?